A Thorn Among Roses

it sucks.  i'm just going to be honest.  autism diagnosis sucks. it's nothing we didn't already feel before the appointments, but hearing it, like FOR REAL, well, it sucks. it sucks not because it's hard, but because your daughter is not any different of a person than before the diagnosis. but the real diagnosis...it sucks. new IEPs...new doctors, new therapists, and more "labels". it kinda seems like people simply see "autism" and not brooke any more. so here's what i want you to know... when you walk into a grocery store and you are brooke, you see lights flashing all over the place, you see swirling colors and hear clanging wheels and carts that sound like cymbals in your ear drums...so when she melts down and asks to ride on the bottom of the grocery cart in a ball with her hands over her ears and hoody over her head, please don't make a big deal of it and tell me she needs to learn how to deal with structure. live my life...o...

brooke loves zeus with every ounce of her body...and that poor dog is so good to her.  he lets her dress him up with not a single growl or stink.   even when it's like a princess...and the poor dog is a male.  he does have a look of concern, i have to admit. dancing on the {table} stage, he fits right into the show. the other day, brooke brought her backpack up to our room and told us to look inside at what she had special inside for us.  i thought it was art or some paperwork from school...nope. it was zeus...and he looked concerned, but still just sat there with that zeus-like look. i prayed for friends that would love and care for brooke exactly where she is in life...and we have some of that.  and we def have a bf for  her...and it's def zeus. dont get me wrong, the dog def needs some "please help me" time...and he gets plenty of that too...i'm sure if he could talk {and brooke says he does to her}, that he would tell us that things are ...

who knew 7 years ago our fam would look the way it does now?  i mean, it has changed so much...and with brooke's bmom, brit, having a baby boy, jordan, we have our boy!!!   finally i get some little little guy time...and it's so special bc it's b's birth brother.  and brooke could not be more proud of him!!! {me too, btw} i mean, i have to be the very best in the world faux grandma-auntie d in the whole world.  i mean, i don't really know what i'm called, but i do know this.  i am blessed.

when i asked b what happened to her face, she said... "i was just sitting there, reading a book and BAM!!  i notice jada is coloring my face." when i asked about her legs... "well, i guess she's sneakier than i thought.  wow, mom...jada should really be in trouble." i know i look tired, but do i also look like a total idiot? {{and yes, that is permanent marker...i'm so glad you asked}}

b and jk had their very first softball game of their lives! oh yeah...the fighting blue dolphins were out to win...ok, hit and pay a little attention, in most cases. then, there was brooke...she was aggressive.  she's been watching big sis, paige, play for sure! {notice p as one of the coaches in the background} where ever the ball was hit, brooke ran full throttle and grabbed the ball...oh, and since she was first baseman and she was suppose to make the outs, she just ran the balls back to the bag in front of the runners.  yep, she was quick. after 4 balls all in b's hands, she decided to actually throw the ball to the other girlie covering 1st...or something.  she threw the ball at the bag.   if no one was there...she ran and caught it and tagged the bag.  she was a one girl team...and honestly, only 2 other girls even cared!! but when coach london told b that she could only chase balls on her side of the field, it went south fast.  tears and shruggi...

brooke was in the 3 piggy opera at school...ok, so all the kindergartners were in the opera, but she was def the best little piggy ever!! but a star must take their time...eat and relax...before their performance. and then there's the "outfit" that had to be chosen. one of the best things about brooke is that she tells a total story in her facial expressions...and that made for a great program, at least for us!  there was a lot of waving and giggling...and really, it was one of the funniest programs i've been to...and i'd like to think so bc of a fab little piggy named brooke. in case you didn't know...the 3 little piggies make it fine from the big, bad wolf...and go home every sunday night to have dinner and coffee with their moms after they moved out. have a great weekend!

brooke really is growing up...a 6 year old and kindergartner. a big sister. she has ideas about exactly how her hair is to be done in the morn...and i see that in the future, there will be some fights. but for now, i love to see that big, fat smile of hers as she starts to prance to the bus stop... but then, it happened. "mom, i'm way big enough to walk to the bus stop alone. it's just not cool. bye mom." and then i see the hugs and the kisses becoming fewer and fewer and frustrated times coming ahead and i realize, i suddenly am not cool anymore for brooke. and i just have to say, i'm a totally cool momma...i mean, wow! {ha} so i take the wave and a tilt the head towards mom's mouth kiss and realize, i've got 2 more that think i'm still that cool...for now. i mean, none of the other mom's take pics of their kids going to the bus stop! they are soooo NOT cool! {{this was the morning before the major snow fall this week...we have about anothe...

it's official...the tooth fairy is going broke brooke lost another tooth, making it 3 now. does a kid get any stinking cuter than with her front teeth missing? on a side note, if you are an adult and have front teeth missing, it's totally NOT cute. get it fixed. please.

in brooke's {little miss literal's} defense, i did tell her to sit down with her pencil and practice her name and letters. i kinda meant on paper and not on the kitchen counter, but hey, she did it, right? the part that got me...when brooke said, "i didn't write on the counter" and it's her name! and instead of erasing it, she just put x's through it so i wouldn't notice. crazy kid. it's a really good thing she's cute!

my b-ster...cuddling up with her fav blanket and daddy's fav blanket...in a sweet slumber. ahhhh...peaceful and still. why is it that sleeping children are sooooo precious in spite of what they were caught doing after they went to sleep? {{you know, like flooding the toilet or leaving their clothes all over the floor...just for instance of course, bc my kids would NEVER do any of that. ha!}}

brooke is only 6 1/2...and somehow she is turning into a teenager. i know she has paige to "guide" her, but it's a little scary sometimes. when we were at ryan's parents house for thanksgiving, i captured this glimpse of my 6 or 14 year old....hanging out in grandpa's chair, playing games on dad's ipod touch. she's even got the cool shoes...and she's a little too cute! seriously...why do i have all girls? and does anyone have an ugly stick to spare?? ps...i have a new nephew as of last night!!!! woooo hoooo! rowan asher was born last night and i can't wait to see his little face! congrats jon and meg !!!

school pictures suck...sorry. i take my own every year. for some reason, i could not get the "i hate this" look off b's face...but it was better than the tears and pouting i was getting. jada on the other hand, was quite the "pose perfect" girlie...any way you look at it, they are cute!

i heart faces this week is contemplative...and the b-ster was def not sure of the cold pool at blake and abby's house...she stared and stared then put the feet in...but it was a go in the end.

brooke is NOT a sleeper. she is a go go-go-go then collapse girl. naps are infrequent, but often times needed, so we change the words and call it "resting our eyes"...and for some reason that works as a more suitable option for a "big girl". saturday, we find her "resting her eyes" on the couch in the toy room like this... those of you with boys...this is a sleeping beauty bed that converts to a throne. oh yes. they have these things...{bday gift from a friend...awesome} and where else would a princess lie her head to "rest her eyes"...but in a princesses bed. boy, i love my sleeping, i mean resting her eyes beauty!

brooke loves a few things in life more than any other...and on her first day of kindergarten this year, she had a chance to have all of them. daddy, java, fancy shoes and new outfit, and a slushy

hum along... ...and these are a few of her fav bday things! bounce houses and friends and silly nilly faces opening presents and sitting together! hitting pinata's and beating it to death... these are a few of her fav bday things! {i know, it's a stretch, but i couldn't get it out of my head} as for me, brooke's bday was a multi day event...she had a fam party and a friends party and one at school too! but of all of them, my fav thing...def the beheading of the "horse" pinata! the kids were totally undaunted by the actual be-heading...they just dove in and jabbed their hands int he body of the horse and went after the candy... ryan, of course, offered his expertise...offering his golf club to hit it across the yard and spew candy all over...he didn't win, btw. in the end, the best part was seeing my precious b getting bigger and bigger and more beautiful every day. for now, i will have to accept that my babies are growing up...but no one can ever take awa...