A Thorn Among Roses

sofia has lived her entire existence on the softball fields...it's what she asks every day.  "do we have a tournament today?" tournaments mean playtime and pools and...well...a few more emotions too. the key to fun...a magic blanket. add a pop... then poke a  hole thru the bottom and make the pop a "pee pee pop"... toss in a backpack...and magic begins... because in the backpack are some treats... but even at the ball fields...there's time out for back talk and not being respectful.  (yes, i am that mean!) and there's tears... proving hubs point...that in our house if someone isn't crying right now, they will be soon, or they have just finished. but it's a cute cry!

it happened today...she got her license.  and guess who she wanted to take on her first drive? yeps...sofia daisy. so off they went...without me...to get a poster board and stickers for a school project. {my credit card, of course}. and that officially means i am old... the upside to all this?  i have another driver to tote around the kiddos if i need it! {do you see the smile on sofia's face??}

i'm a real mom...i'm a real friend...and i'm a real person. what you see is pretty much what you get.  would i like my house to be perfect and my kids clothes to be stain and rip free? sure...but that's just not reality in this life. when my friends call, do i call them back?  yes...but it can be weeks bc you never know if there's meltdowns or psych appts or therapy or just life that gets in the way of having a single second of free time to make a simple call. it's the life of me.  i'm tired most of the time.  i shower when i can get everyone everywhere and have time, so sometimes it's not until 2pm.  i work out simply because i have to...and it's the one point of stress relief i have in life at this point.  i don't have much "fancy" left in me...i wish i did, but i don't most days. but hubs, well, he loves the fancy me...so he'll date me.  yep...this is where you get jealous! and when we go out, i have to wear non-hoody....

we travel all the time by car...from 2 to 8 hours one way for softball...all the time. and how do we do it? cheap for one... lots of pillows...red boxes are a life saver...snacks...and secret "special stops" for ice cream. and of course... sofia crying...jada gazing...brooke resting...paige iPod'ing and chilling. altogether, boringly...but we get the job done!

i was informed by the dr. sofia daisy that my baby, "kayla", needed some really serious help.  she had just seen her in her office and she discovered the following: kayla had a bad attitude kayla had spent quite a bit of time not listening and choosing to do the wrong things even when she knew the right thing to do kayla, worst of all, did not get any bubbles at the end of the appointment because of the choices she had made. sofia told me that she had things i needed to work on before our next appointment...and can you see that stinking list!?! she handed me "kayla", my cell phone, the notes and my bill. i then was met by the secretary, jada, who required my money before i was allowed to leave. she gave me a bill...(i love love love that the first word is "cost"). so in the end, i'm thinking that all the time we have spent at doctors, psychiatrists and counselors has changed us all.  and it has shown itself...maybe not in the ways you wo...

i'm finding all kinds of pics i have to share with you all from the summer... one of the best things about travel softball is going places you would NEVER go normally as a family, so you have to make an adventure out of every place you go. we headed to nationals in michigan this year and on the way home found the "germany in michigan", frankenmuth.  why did we stop there?  we heard the fried chicken at the bavarian inn was worth it. i can tell you that hubs really enjoyed the huge beer glass... but the best thing of all...paige being the pied piper of the girlies! it doesn't get any better than that...because it's embarrassing for all future major events in each of the kids lives!

it sucks.  i'm just going to be honest.  autism diagnosis sucks. it's nothing we didn't already feel before the appointments, but hearing it, like FOR REAL, well, it sucks. it sucks not because it's hard, but because your daughter is not any different of a person than before the diagnosis. but the real diagnosis...it sucks. new IEPs...new doctors, new therapists, and more "labels". it kinda seems like people simply see "autism" and not brooke any more. so here's what i want you to know... when you walk into a grocery store and you are brooke, you see lights flashing all over the place, you see swirling colors and hear clanging wheels and carts that sound like cymbals in your ear drums...so when she melts down and asks to ride on the bottom of the grocery cart in a ball with her hands over her ears and hoody over her head, please don't make a big deal of it and tell me she needs to learn how to deal with structure. live my life...o...

paige is loving softball, still...i suppose that's why she still plays year-round travel ball.  i am so proud of her, though... more than just on the field, where she is steadfast... where she is a leader... where she works with full effort every single play... where she has a group of ladies she calls friends first, then teammates... and where, in the end, she does it all for the love of the game. eat. sleep. play softball. is there anything else?

it's a hard time to be a mom...especially when your baby girl is 16, a junior and dating a nice boy.   homecoming was last week...and the dance...and me and hubs thinking about doing this with 3 more girlies...and a glass of wine. for now...i think i will just lock her in the house and not let her go anywhere. how do you think that will work?