Monday, July 19, 2010

not me monday

a few things me and the fam did NOT do the last 3 weeks...
{{bc i'm totally behind and there's so much stuff to tell}}

our hooptie DID NOT run out of battery bc paige was NOT waiting in the escalade at b's OT and passing time by watching movies.  paige DID NOT lose track of life bc her bf was there.  hubs DID NOT rescue us like a super hero!!!

sofia lets out a toot go...i DID NOT say, "sofia, what do you say when that happens?"
sofia DID NOT respond, 'i farted. thank u.'

hubs asks sofia, "sof, why do you talk so much?"  sofia DID NOT respond with, "i have things in my head."  she is NOT too smart for her own good.

driving past starbucks sofia DID NOT say, "starbucks, momma.  i wanna donut.  mommy coffee. i wanna donut."  i DID NOT do this to her. oops.

during my boot camp workout, in one hour, the carbon dioxide detector DID NOT go off from spraying lysol bc  one of my kids DID NOT have a potty mess all over my trainers entire basement and first floor. another one of my kiddos child DID NOT have a bloody lip.  i DID NOT end up mopping the floor of my trainers house and cleaning the stairs.  and in the end, i DID NOT only burn 650 calories.

paige DID NOT tell hubs, "you stink...don't embarrass me, dad".  sofia DID NOT jump in and say, "paigey, daddy nice guy.  be nice." way to go girl...take up for the only man!!

b and me DID NOT have alone time and do lunch at don pablos.  i DID NOT get this bathroom report from her, 'that girl flushed. that one didn't. it's just nasty. neither washed their hands. i'm grossed out.'  i love having a roving reporter with me at all times.

i DID NOT see some of the most major disasters at the softball fields these last weeks...my fav is disaster sighting...middle aged woman, leathery tan, major double muffin top, and a MULLET with (wait for it) moussed over ears!  the 80's DID NOT call and want their mousse back....wow.

sofia DID NOT pretend smack hubs in the face and then say, "cry. you have to cry now."  i don't even know what to say about that.

b DID NOT ask me in the car if babies come out of mom's butts. 
i DID NOT say, 'p, jk and s were all born out of their bmoms bellies. 
b does NOT respond with, 'wait, where was i born from? was it a butt?'  
i DID NOT reply,'no, b, you were born in brit's birth canal.' 
brooke DOES NOT respond with, 'i'm so glad bc being born out of a butt is just plain gross!'

i DID NOT cry at toy story 3...like a baby...thinking about paiger being so close to leaving the nest.  then the realization that we have like 16 more years with the youngest, brought both a smile and a tear as well.

hubs DID NOT ask brooke to hop in the tub and at least wash her feet off before bed and her morning shower. she DID NOT say 'God says you can't get in the bath tub when there's lightning. it's in the bible.' well, now...hmmm.

java, our rescued from the outdoors and starving pup, was NOT nursed back to health by us for 10 months...and we DID NOT find her a new home with peeps that are very excited to have her and give her the space she needs for her speedy superpower running.  we DID NOT cry a little seeing her go...

paige DID NOT have a totally epic day full of drama and fright...and it DID NOT end with her crying on her daddy's shoulder.  i DID NOT get all melty inside knowing that the man the good lord put in our lives has been such a blessing...
sad news after all that sappy stuff, hubs DID NOT put the steak fork on the counter where p DID NOT put her jacket.  p DID NOT pull her jacket and consequently the fork right down on her toe!
she was NOT impaled by steak fork on her big toe...and it has NOT bruised.  we have NOT laughed incessantly about the whole thing every single day since.

i DID NOT pack a picnic lunch for the girlies to go to he park whilst paige DID NOT have driving time in driver's ed {it's true}.  it was NOT an epic fail.  i was NOT the only one who ate my food and was allowed to play on the playground equipment for 45 minutes.  why, oh why, do i even try?

i DID NOT put princess press on nails on jada's fingernails bc she earned them with good behavior.  she DID NOT instantly turn into a snobby princess who said, "i can not get dressed.  i have nails now. you will have to do that for me."
the nails, although gorgeous, DID NOT get pulled off in 40 minutes by jada when she decided it was more fun to put them on than deal with them in wiping her booty.

at a quick wal-mart run, there was NOT here's a lady in the parking space next to us, smoking her cig, waxing her truck and chatting it up with her girlfriends on the phone.  that was NOT one of the oddest things i had seen in a while.

i DID NOT get to go celebrate with my girlfriends at a baby shower for my bud, darcy.  she IS NOT precious and i am NOT def the oldest friend she has...and that DOES NOT make me feel both old and lucky!

brooke DID NOT report from sunday school and her new "moved up classroom", 'there were bullies in my class this morn. you know God's blood? yep, they thre it at us.' i'm hoping that's the felt board kinda blood, because i don't even wanna know what that means.


Mckmama- Not Me Monday

3 comments:

Kristy said...

I love the fart one, that's great! The other night, I finished a book with my boy (he's two). The last line of the book says, "It's quiet now, what do you say?" My boy shouts, "Mine!" One of his favorite words.

He & Me + 3 said...

OMWord what to comment on. The bathroom commentary, the fart, the babies being born...You have had some wonderful conversations this past week. Love that Sof has lots of things in her head too. LOL

Pam said...

Too awesome!!!!!