not me monday

a few things me and the fam DID NOT do this week...

i DID NOT get a "tired of this mess" kick and do a purge of toys and everything else in the house one afternoon. my hot flashes DID NOT kick in and i was NOT sorting toys in the basement during naptime in my tank top and shorts...and it was NOT -4 degrees outside. i do NOT hate getting older....grrr.

i DID NOT make custom snuggies for all of my kiddos and they were NOT so excited that they were giggling. we do NOT have a house full of snuggie bunnies and dust bunnies...oh come, on. you knew i had to!

i DID NOT pull my butt muscle {glut and ham, actually} stepp

ing in my trainers house from the snow, sliding off the threshold and pulling something major big. i am NOT still nursing a stinking pulled butt and i am NOT feeling old an stupid for doing it in the first place.

i DID NOT fall all the way down the basement steps bc miss jk decided to toss a blanket on the steps and i found it...right on my back. the steps were NOT like solid ice with a fuzzy blanket...and i DID NOT hurt my back falling. i am NOT getting too old to eve

n walk down the stairs at 40! i do NOT feel stupid...still!

hubs and i DID NOT go out for dessert and our monthly budget review...only to find out that mitchell's fish market failed to carry the most supreme dessert on the freaki

ng earth, the java lava cup. i DID NOT gasp loudly and yell, "shut up!" at the waitress, who DID NOT reply, "i know, right? i totally agree." we DID NOT bond a little over the lack of chocolately goodness. i DID NOT end up having a chocolate something torte which was delicious, but not nearly as sinful and divine as the java lava cup.

hubs DID NOT print the budget in -250 font so that my eyes could def NOT see the numbers...adding insult to injury, it was NOT almost pitch black in the restaurant. i DID NOT move the candle to on top of the budget just to see the numbers. i DID NOT look idiotic or ridiculous and DID NOT draw a crowd. ok, so that NEVER happens.

i DID NOT workout with my trainer {post butt pull...same day} and

do our new step in my training...jillian circuit training. i DID NOT almost die working out...and i DID NOT work myself to a puke! yep, i DID NOT do the infamous jillian "it's not a good workout until you puke"...and i was NOT as thrilled as i thought i would be.

sofia DID NOT start singing happy birthday to you after hearing her birthday was this week. when we asked her how old she is going to be, she DID NOT look us in the eyes and say, "two!" and show us her index finger and thumb in an L. she is NOT super cute, in spite of the fact that right now her terrible twos have set in and she is screaming and sitting in time out bc she just can not be happy or satisfied. ahhhh, the joy.

i DID NOT get a call from school nurse saying, 'b is here. she says she has a painful bee-gina and rash. i'm not sure what to do'. she DID NOT stump the nurse on this one. i DID NOT giggle thinking that b had raised her hand in class and said, "mrs., i have a rash on bee-gina and it hurts. mom said i need to tell someone right away. i think i should go to the nurse." i DID NOT picture her teacher dying laughing and sending her with this note...which i DO NOT plan to save forever.

i DID NOT think that i would send in a brown paper bag for the school nurse to hyperventilate into the next time a child use proper name identification for their parts...

the poor woman was so stumped that i think she needed a bag to recover...or maybe a little drink of special sauce would work better. i DO NOT think she thinks we are the weirdest family of all time.

sofia DID NOT randomly start counting 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8. i guess all the time spent at the trainer with me working out has NOT paid off. the girl can def count, but we'll have to add to it later, bc she only hears to 25.

i DID NOT do my monthly ritual of making pancakes for the high school kids in the high school cafe...i have NOT become known for my super delicious krusteez pancakes with chocolate chips. and i DO NOT love that the kiddos get a little bit of jesus and his teaching in the meantime. did i mention that i DO NOT start making pancakes at 5:45??? yep, i DO NOT love those high school kids.

jada DID NOT point to a pic of rhianna in a mag at the counselor's office and say, 'she's pretty just like me. she has great hair. pink lips too. wow, we are sooo pretty.'

kids DID NOT have a 2 hour delay one day this week. we were NOT still running around at the last minute trying to get everyone on the bus bc we were NOT sitting around talking and having coffee and cereal and forgot to go to school!

paige DID NOT make up a new game of "baby fetch"...paige flips a head wrap across the room. sofia chases it. fun for teens and toddlers alike.

i DID NOT ask sofia what she was going to name her babies when she was a momma. she DID NOT reply, "chip". interesting name i thought...and then i DID NOT notice she was eating a tortilla chip.