Wednesday, January 28, 2009

double order?

i'm going to admit something to you...i hate (loathe) my chin! it's a family heirloom that i could definitely do without. i feel like i look 50 pounds heavier in every picture because of my chin.

i hate my chin.

ok, so i love the picture of me and sofie, but i almost deleted it and refused to post because my chin! so here's what i'm doing. i'm taking a step forward in the "my husband thinks i'm hot and i should too" moment. i'm posting the picture...

i really am struggling with this whole "almost 40 year old, post 4 kid, worn out body". i don't look the way i use to, and that's hard for me to swallow. now, seriously, i have never been a supermodel or even gorgeous, but i looked better, at least in my eyes. two c-sections later, my mid section has a sausage roll that can't go away...and my poor little eyes just can't see past my double chin and sausage roll.

i'm working on it, i promise. i don't want my girlies to hear my struggles and deal with the same thing when they are older. paige said the other day, "mom, you are beautiful. shut up about the way you look."

that was a wake up call.

so, i'm posting the picture...and trying really hard to remember that "i'm hot". it's hard...i have to admit. do you have this struggle? am i alone?

so i am reminded in proverbs 31 of the woman i am to be...gorgeous and skinny aren't listed. so why is it such a big deal to me?

if god made me in his image, am i not telling him he did a bad job by constantly thinking i look bad? my heart sinks thinking that my words are more than words...so i'm turning a new leaf. i'm going to see myself as a daughter of god first and a humanly body second.

40 comments:

MaryCatherine said...

whoo-whee!!...what you talkin' 'bout??? look at you standing with your hands on your hips all cute...girl, you got it going on!

I struggle with my legs. Picture a Flamingo or an Ostrich...and you have my legs. Bulgy, over-sized knees and all. It's quite comical and a big joke in my family, I laugh it off but gee whiz sometimes all I want to do is put on a pair of shorts without somebody making bird noises...I wear pants lots of pants lol.

I honored you with a bloggy award...you can check my page to see it :)

Stesha said...

Your Hawt!

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Kel said...

You're not alone...I struggle with my body image a lot because I no longer look like I used to. I know I would never want my daughters to look at themselves and think 'they need to change' but it is hard to take my own advice. Life happens, we change, we grow, but our beauty shines thru our outward exterior. You are beautiful and if you ever need a reminder...just look at your beautiful family...they take after you!
~K

Mom To Six said...

That's a great outlook, and by NO MEANS are you alone in this battle. My inherited airloom is my belly, and I HATE it! But, I don't think I'd ever spend money on a tummy tuck because a) God DID make me in his image and loves me the way I am and b) Do you know how many cleft surgeries can be performed to orphans in China with what a tummy tuck cost? :)

You do look great!

Ohilda

He And Me + 3 said...

Great post....I feel that way alot too. I was just checking out my fun chin today. Ugh. Great insight!
You look great...love your hair too.

Kimm at Reinvented said...

Girl, you are hot!!
I know what you mean about struggling with body image after 4 kids and 40+ years of life. But, our bodies are temples of God, and he doesn't reside in ugliness, He makes his home in beautiful children of His.

CntryMomma said...

Great pics! The last was my favorite! Display it proudly!!

LORI

Briony said...

You are gorgeous! (And just so you know...I have a friend that is a stinkin bean-poll and she still get s a second chin in pics, it's just the angle the photo is taken from.)
I myself have trouble with my legs...or should I say thighs I am definitely pear shaped, sometimes I embrace it and sometimes I whine and wear sweats everywhere haha. We all have our moments.

You my dear are fearfully and wonderfully made, look up Psalm 139:14 when you need the reminder, thats what I do :)

Meredith said...

Nope. Not alone. At all. Way to go putting it out there. Keeping it hidden is what feeds it. The enemy loves that... but God and your hubby KNOW you're perfect. And we all think you're pretty dang good lookin' too!

Still praying...

Susan said...

You go girl! I think we all probably have that one feature that makes us constantly feel like we are not as beautiful as others see us.
Thank God for husbands that remind us that we are hot!

Karen said...

You're not alone, trust me. It was freaky reading my own thoughts on your blog. And it's wonderful that we each have husbands that love us more now than the day we were married.

Abby said...

I love your outlook as well. I try very hard to tell myself the same thing as I have two girls that I want to love themselves and not grow up being scared of food.

You look great!

Meaghan said...

i LOVE this post!!!! i LOVE paiger's comment! you ARE SO HOT!!!! ryan's your biggest proponent of this! i love that you said gorgeous and hot aren't in prv 31! that's awesome!

auntie said...

everything i was going to say, Meaghan just said for me! i love that you were so honest in this post & i'm so impressed that you posted those pics of yourself that you didn't like. that takes A LOT of guts!!

Kacey R. said...

You are so not alone in your thoughts. Sadly, I think most women have some sort of struggle with body image. Something I know we do not want our daughters to share in. I'm certainly digging your new outlook though. It's a great one! And for what its worth, I think you're pretty darn sassy. {{HUGS}}

angie said...

I think that no matter what our size, as women we are always wanting something else, and it's learning to love our bodies that's the hard part. We've talked about this before, and I think there's real power in addressing how we feel and doing what we can to change what we hate, and learning to love what we can't change........like those sausage rolls. he he. I think you're beautiful!

Jen said...

Oh sweetie, you are so not alone in the battle. I am totally with you. I really dislike my post-baby body. One pregnancy with a 10 plus pound baby and another pregnancy with triplets does awful things to a girl's mid-section. I so wish that back before I had kids I love and enjoyed my body more.

It wasn't perfect but it was better than what I have now. I would kill to have that pre-kid body back.

But the other day, Jeff said something to me that really stuck in my mind. We were at a kindergarten parents meeting and he was board so he admitted to checking out all the other mom's in the room. He told me that hands down, I was the Hot Mommy in the room.

So my kids love me, my husband loves me and thinks I am hot and so I am going to think I am too.

I am not ready to totally embrace the 'sausage roll' but like you said, I am no longer going to complain about it especially in front of the kids. I want my kids to have a good and healthy self imagine and that is going to start with me.

You are doing the right thing. And I applaud you for it.

Mandy said...

Yes you are hot. Good for you! I recently gained 10 okay 15 pounds and am struggling to lose it, however, with my weight gain my husband can't stop talking about how nice my butt looks now! Maybe TMI but goes to show how we see ourselves one way and those that love us see us differently! Great post! And you are beautiful!

Life with Kaishon said...

You are totally hot! Who cares about a chin? Make people stand up on a chair when they take your picture. You always look WAY better when someone is looking down at you! I love your pretty baby and I love your pretty heart!

Carrie said...

I've struggled with my weight my whole life, so I'm right there with the whole body image thing.

We just talked about this very thing two weeks ago in my Mom's group at church.

Trust me, I always have to remind myself that our Heavenly body is what matters, not our body here on Earth. We are just here to prepare!!

You are gorgeous woman! I wouldn't change one single thing about you!

Maricris said...

You're not alone. We mommies go through the same thing. Others suffer silently, other just loudly! LOL! I think it was by design that when we get pregnant this is the new body awarded to us. ugh!

lori said...

Alone???? I had to PICK myself off the floor...SISTER, I could have written this MYSELF! I AM 40, 3 kiddos under the belt and you know you'd THINK that by now we'd learn to LOVE ourselves...NOT so easy, huh!

I've been WORKING hard on speaking the LOVE to myself...you know my husband gently :) reminds me every time I say something about myself that I'm CRITICIZING GOD...yep, gets me every time!

and you really are beautiful in that pic...embrace that!:)and WE are so much more than a size or a chin;) THANKS for speaking for SO many of us...well, at least for me!
lori

Melissa@MamaMonoblogs said...

Hey, I feel the same way and I just turned 30. You are one hot mama and you should be proud of all your accomplishments. You have a wonderful sense of humor.Your hubby thinks you're HOT.I hate my chin too but, my "wattle" is from being 50 lbs overweight. I gain in my face and my middle. And my arms and thighs....sigh. But I digress
didn't you hear 40 is the new 30? You got it goin' on!

Ashley said...

You ARE one HOT mamma!! Paige is right :)

Alexandria said...

You are far from alone! I think the majority of women, even those who are super models, struggle with their appearance and how they feel about it.

Big hugs.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I have struggled with this a lot, especially since the reason my marriage ended was that my ex decided that me being a size 12 was too fat for him to be attracted to anymore. I blamed myself for his cheating. I had and still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror because I have gained even more weight. But, the guy that I'm engaged to now tells me that I'm beautiful all the time. He loves me just the way I am.

Will we ever realize that we're perfectly made in God's eyes?

By the way, you're gorgeous and have a beautiful smile!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I think you look terrific!

And I don't know ONE single woman who doesn't hate something about the way she looks...

We are ALL so hard on ourselves!

Columbia Lily said...

I think you so SO cute! Your hair is adorable and you have a beautiful smile and eyes! I woulldn't have even noticed the chin until you pointed it out. =) But I do understand where you're coming from. I also have very serious body image issues and I have let it make me into an incredibly self-conscious adult. Of course it doesn't help that I work surrounded by slender teenagers all day either. =) But you are definitely not alone in the way you feel.

Woman Undone said...

Stop focusing on the chin and move your focus 3 inches higher to that FABULOUS smile of yours!!!

You really don't want your girls to hear that too, they're like little tape recorders!!!

blueviolet said...

I was going to lecture you and then I realized that I'm not one to talk. I'm constantly picking myself apart.

But, for the record, I didn't notice your chin until you pointed it out and I MEAN THAT!

Simply AnonyMom said...

I LOVE the first pic. You are very pretty in the third and look like a goof ball (in a good way) inthe third ;)

HeatherY said...

I love the first picture! So sweet. Since I had my daughter, my body image is really messed up. I see one thing and my husband sees another. He's jokingly told me I need professional help! I think we are bombarded with so many pictures of what we should look like that it makes it so hard.

Susie Harris said...

Sister... you are beautiful! Inside and out. We all have that little something we would like to change. Geez.. I have a list going. So I just wanted you to hear it from me... Your A hottie~ Ha. I have never told that to a woman before, hehe.

The Farmer Files said...

Amen! And isn't God wonderful to give us husbands that tell us in a tangible way that we are wonderful and beautiful? We know He thinks so, in the heavens, but it is comforting to have it said to us out loud!

Rebekah said...

Oh- I am so there with you. Two years shy of 40. Pregnancies, laws of gravity, and getting older. *sigh* I dont feel like the reflection I see in the mirror.

Some days I do have to remind myself to be confident in my body- not just for me, but for my girls. (Hubs likes it when I am confident as well)

Rebekah said...

Oh I forgot to mention- I saw someone else already did- You do have a great smile.

Shelley said...

You look gorgeous. I am an obese woman and always have been. I struggle with my self image issue alot. My DH says it doesn't bother him, but his actions speak a different story.
Pray for me to be the PRoverbs 31 mindset as well.

Lindsay said...

You are SO not alone - and sometimes I think that the shorter we are, the harder we have it - especially when we tend to care too much about the way we look. You know, cuz every model or heck, even every TV show actress is at least 5'6". And really - do you know how good looking we'be be if we had that kind of room to "spread out" our chub?? LOL. But in all honesty, you've got the right idea - we need to constantly remind ourselves of the proverbs 31 woman. Easier said than done. It's hard because of what bombards us daily. It's hard because we live in a fallen world. Thanks for making me think a little harder about that, too. I have a business formal banquet to go to and I'm already stressing out about what I am going to wear...doing the "I don't look good in anything but a sweatshirt" thing. Yoi. But it doesn't matter what's on the outside. Thanks for the reminder. :-)

RandomWonders said...

I recently posted a somewhat similar post...I struggle with the way I look daily..it's hard to remember that I am what God had in mind when He made me (even saying that though-in the back of my mind I hear "sure, 50 pounds lighter"! you see the self abuse I take?!) =]

PS you are BEAUTIFUL! And you seem to have a heart to match!

Megan said...

I think everyone struggles with something about their body or how they look, even if it's not what God would want of us.

Just means we can try harder to change the way we see ourselves.

You are and we all are daughters of God and he loves us just the way he created us. And since your husband thinks you're HAWT, that's all that matters, right?

You ARE HAWT and Beautiful anyway, no matter what you think! ;0P